It’s super strange attending these annual events that make you realize how much has changed since last year. A lot can change in a year. A lot. A lot.
Anyway, tonight was The Rezzies and I got to wear my new minty fresh peep toes! I was so happy that What’s Your Story? won Most Outstanding Social Program out of tons of amazing social programs campus-wide. Almost all of it had to do with how awesome and receptive my residents were to it, but it definitely was a life success. Today I felt like such a screwup on so many different fronts. I seriously make way too many mistakes and there doesn’t seem to be a limit to the amount of things I mess up…but the Rezzie win definitely boosted my mood.
Letter Challenge #10: Stranger
Lately I’ve been having these big bouts of feeling insignificant. Not in that whiney “give me attention, tell me I’m special” kind of way, but more so just thinking about how HUGE this world is, and how many people live here and ‘ll never know most of them. And there are so many things I’ll never know. And so many places I’ll never go to. Like North Korea and Cuba- those are like already off the table, and there are so many things off the table based on my borm-into-life-circumstances. It’s not like I’m dying to go to either place, but it’s just knowing that I won’t be able to. I know it’s not good to dwell on my limitations, but I think it’s healthy-ish to be aware of them.
I keep wondering about if everyone has a destiny- and if life is pre-written on a scroll that is slowly unraveling, OR if we get these blank canvas lives to do with whatever we want. Like to what degree is human agency a thing? The sociology of the life course class I took last quarter made me think about this a lot. Since there are all these age-graded-tragectories we’re supposed “hit”, and that just made the whole process of life seem a lot less miraculous…
I talk to my friends about this stuff a lot…it probably annoys them. I can’t help but think we’re supposed to try to change the world for the better and make a positive impact somehow, but I have no idea how. That sounds so pretentious and cheesy…One of my friends tells me that maybe our purpose is to be good to and love those around us, and that that should be enough. And maybe she’s right- since these are the only people that will ever really know us. Maybe I want things out of life that might not exist? Or maybe I’m not focusing on the things I should. I feel like Ariel in The Little Mermaid when she’s itching to go be part of a bigger world-only I don’t know what world I what to be part of, or if it’s even out there.
Am I wasting my time thinking about all this? Or setting myself up for disappointment? How come people don’t talk about stuff like this more? Why don’t people like forming their own opinions, or religions, and notions? And why are we even here? And why are things this way? And do you think we’ll ever find out why?
I don’t like how this letter turned out
How did I not realize until now that Ed Sheeran is twins with Ron Weasley…
I really like this song though. Cheers to musicians who don’t look like they came out of a mold. AV and I were talking about this today, and how looks are so important to be successful since looks get you in the door- in almost all aspects of life- and it’s stupid but that’s the way it is. Also I don’t mean to say I don’t think Ed Sheeran doesn’t have looks, because I think he does heh, just not in the Barbie & Ken way.
Anyone who thinks that they are too small to make a
difference has never tried to fall asleep with a mosquito in the room.
— Christie Todd Whitman
I’ve decided that the best way to prepare yourself to wear a formal dress the next night is probably by eating lots of carbs. Lots and lots of them. Pad Thai and popcorn! Mother nature always has a way of striking whenever something somewhat important happens…
My arms are super sore since I got 3 more vaccines today. I officially have gotten 12 shots/vaccines within the past week. I think that’s a personal record.
I am not motivated to do my accounting assignment at all. Not just because I don’t find it interesting, but because there are so many classes that I take here that don’t pertain to my desired future, and all I ever do in them is cram the material in my brain long enough to do the assignment or test, and will have already forgotten it a month after the course is over. I hate taking classes that don’t mean anything to me. Especially when I have a list of classes that I would love to take but can’t because they mean nothing to my college, major, or minor.
Sometimes I get so frustrated with people who think their life would be so much better if they got attention from certain people, or if they got to stand on the lawn of someone who they think has it pretty good. I honestly believe that the people worth wanting around are the ones that don’t make you feel inferior, or who don’t want you to acknowledge how green their grass is compared to others. I like people who are too busy watering their own lawn of life to even pay attention to how green their neighbor’s is. Last year I realized that even the people whose lawns’ surfaces seemed to glisten, didn’t have roots that look as pretty. But that shouldn’t even matter, and it shouldn’t even matter that I’m secretly convinced their lives aren’t that great…maybe they are in which case good for them, but I just want to focus on how green/great important parts of my life are since compared to how my lawn used to look, this is magical.
A lot of college students are poor public speakers. We started group presentations in my Comm class today and only 2 people could hold my attention. College students also say “umm”, “uhh”, and “like” way too much. I’m working on cutting out my “likes”, but it’s a wee bit harder than anticipated. My group presents in 2 weeks. Note to self: practice public speaking.
This world is shallow and irrational. I know I can fit into that category sometimes, but there are definitely a lot of people who need to try swimming in the deep end for once…
I don’t want to be another human being. That’s such a human thing to say…
“A ship in port is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for” -GH
“A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor” -IDK
“Set your course by the stars, not by the lights of every passing ship” -OB
“I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.” -LMA
Because kayaks are pretty ship-like… #ghousekayakadventures
You’ll need coffee shops and sunsets and road trips. Airplanes and passports and new songs and old songs, but people more than anything else. You will need other people and you will need to be that other person to someone else, a living breathing screaming invitation to believe better things.